look no pants
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
