omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
