before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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