I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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