her vagine was all disorganized.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
