I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
