i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
