I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
