Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
