i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
