your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
