girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
