yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
