i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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