Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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