So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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