Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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