In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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