Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
