tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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