I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
