Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
