it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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