I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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