Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
