Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
