apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
