Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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