Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

my life trainwreck boards at 9:30

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.

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(614): View more from Ohio

she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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(773): View more from Illinois

we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.

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