I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
