I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
