True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
