He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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