nut hugger
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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