I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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