I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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