Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The Olympian is in my bed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
