alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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