Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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