I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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