'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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