How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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