Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
