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• (647): View more from Ontario

  she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!

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