I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
