Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
