they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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