so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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