Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
