Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
