the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
